frustration.

i'm so unbelievably tired of life right now. for the past like two months i've been putting excessive amounts of energy into finding an apartment suitable for 4 different people only to now have to restart my search for a studio apartment. i'm tired of putting my all out to please people and getting absolutely nothing in return; it's as if my wants and needs are not a priority to anyone. am i supposed to smile and act as if everything's fine when shit never goes my way? didn't think so. i'm tired of college -- tired of working so hard and taking so many classes, studying so many hours only to eventually (hopefully) get a job and work some more. eh, such is life, i suppose..
i'm especially tired of thinking so much.. i've been racking my brain far too much lately. the question is why do i waste my time on people who could care less about me and ignore the ones who do care? that seems to be a constant in my life. i thrive on people who drag me down. i'm sick of making sacrifices for people and catering to other people's needs. i need to put myself first and stop worrying about what others want or think. i can't let people walk all over me anymore. i can't let people play games with me anymore. i'm sick of getting hurt, i'm sick of trusting people and letting my guard down only to have them crush me. but what i'm especially sick of is the games that people play. the private calls need to stop.
on a lighter note, i'm seeing more and more of my friends plunge deeper and deeper into credit card debt and i thank God in heaven that i have a steady, well paying job that keeps me from falling into that abyss.. **knocks on wood**
my grammy's back from haiti, FINALLY.. of course i work every weekend so going home to see her is gna be a bit hard. ANDD we got a beautiful new puppy named Chloe Nicole:
she's a mix between a maltese and a yorkie. love herrr! lol i just can't wait to be able to go home and be with the ones i know will never fail me..
hopefully, when i've graduated college, when i've become a successful investment banker and wife, my life will finally be complete. if not, at least i'll be making loot. ;)
until next time, outski♥